The Black Sheep

The Black Sheep

Every family has one, right? Well, this month it’s going to get a bit personal. I felt like the black sheep of the family when I was 21. I was married at 18, 2 children by 20 and divorced at 21. This is not the plan, especially if you were raised in a rather strict Southern Baptist home. I could say, it passed, but I continued with this pattern...let’s just say a few more times. When the feature book this month was the woman at the well, it hit home. I believed in my younger years that marriage was just like the Brady Bunch. My parents did not argue (or at least I’ll say not in front of us) I look back on my marriages  like speeding tickets, I could explain why it all when wrong and why I was in court.

            I most definitely feel you grow more through diversity than sailing through life without any forks in the road.  I have veered too far left when I only needed to make a slight turn around and hit some speed bumps going to quickly. I prayed more, I asked for forgiveness, and I called on God regularly. I certainly wouldn’t say multiple marriages doesn’t come with a bountiful of uncomfortable moments.  A hairdresser by trade, I was working when a woman in my chair was talking (in one continuous sentence until she was winded) about her friend who has been married multiple times. At the end she looked straight at me and said “You KNOW what that says about her?!” I was thinking ummm, ‘she doesn’t give up, she’s a romantic, she hasn’t found Mr. Right?’  It’s very possible that she was NOT looking for those answers. I just thought to myself that instead of sleeping around, I married around.  The second scenario I experienced was through the mouths out babes.  A client was talking to me after finishing her hair. Her little daughter, probably 7-8 years old and girlfriend were within earshot. The topic of someone being married more than once came up and the girlfriend (probably heard through the grapevine) says to my client “Well, Taylor’s been married X times!”. Just as the appalled woman looked at my ‘guilty as charged’ face, the little girl piped in with “You’re so Lucky!!! You had X men ask you to marry them!”    I can honestly tell you that hadn’t crossed my mind. What had crossed my mind was how much God hates divorce. My parents were married 59 years when my dad passed away. I envy couples who are childhood sweethearts. You have grown old together, the way its supposed to be.  You have familiarity. That’s what I miss about losing Mike and dating. (Yeah, I’ve dated) It’s someone knowing you, your quirks and loving you not in spite of them, but because of them. I was married to Mike the longest. I thought THIS was my ever-after. I might still BE the black sheep of the family, but I don’t feel like it anymore. With diversity and strife comes (I don’t feel comfortable calling it wisdom) lets call it  foresight, understanding and experience.  That means when anyone is having marital issues, domestic violence 

controversy or just needs a listening ear someone will send them my way.  I could at least give you some good statistics.  I could tell you what 4 out of 5 did, said or otherwise.  I received certification for Domestic violence advocate because I believe in turning a dreadful situation into a positive one. I am not a fan of divorce, and I don’t talk about a lot of controversial items in my brochure. They (whoever ‘they’ are) say its best to not talk politics or religion. Well, it’s a Christian subscription box, so we talk about Christ. Variables in religion, I do not. I believe in the Bible. Wouldn’t it be crazy to shun someone because of religion and then get to Heaven and see that neighbor? Ooops, I wasn’t expecting to see you here! Sooo, without delving any further into that conversation, the Bible talks about divorce in Matthew 5:31-32.   Mark 10 1-12 and Luke 16:18 It is a sin. I believe it’s a forgivable sin.  

            Did God know I was going to get a divorce? You have free will. If free will is granted to everyone we have the power to do what we choose. God, being the almighty Sovereign knows all, so he would know what your choices will be before you choose them. I’m giving you a discussion question with friends. I’m not going to delve into it, but it brings us to the woman at the well.  John 4: 1-26 is the story of the Samaritan woman at the well.  7 When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” 8 (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)

9 The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans)

10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.

    I hope that you enjoy the book, its next on my reading list. I pray you feel the presence of God’s love and do not let the sins of your past define you or your future. I don’t think that I surprised God when I made some choices that were disappointing or mediocre to say the least. I am who I am today because of those choices, and have the children, relationships and experiences God knew I was going to. Last month I told you a story about 9/11 and God didn’t call the qualified but qualified the called.

            The world is in a crazy mode right now. I keep thinking we’re going to get back to normal. But what is the new normal. Each month I tell y’all its going to be okay. Well, this month I’m not telling you any different. It is. I don’t know why we now have no coins (?) but we’re stocked up on toilet paper again.  God’s got this. He is in control. Hang in there,

                   and if you need to chat …I’m here.with the stats. 😊                                                                                 Taylor

Back to blog


Loved your letter, the comments when you were doing hair. Interesting, my mom was born and raised in West Virginia, my grandpa was a Coal Miner. SO I know the Southern Baptist religion very well. They can be very strict, but should be forgiving. God is forgiving and he forgives Divorce too. Thank you for sharing

Sherrie Ashenbremer

Hey Taylor! I really enjoyed reading your letter. Thank you! Im looking forward to joining the club! Love you sister, and hope to see you again real soon.

Nicole Mann

Nicole Mann

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.